Style Invitational Week 1039: Rearrange 'To be, or not to be'; plus cartoon catpions

Once again, the Style Invitational pursues its primary mission of enlightening The Washington Post's readers through the literary arts. Often these literary arts run to poop jokes, but today we'll shoot arguably higher as the school year gets underway: This week: Combine any of the words in Hamlet's "To be, or not to be" soliloquy, in any order, to create a humorous sentence or longer passage. You may change the capitalization and punctuation of any word, but you may not add or delete "s" or oth...